These actions are evidence of what I used to create the life I wanted. I think its important women know that I have been in a low moment of despair before. There are circumstances, situations, and events that go on in everyone’s life that push them past their limits. I too have been there, when my self-esteem and motivation were very low.
Somewhere in everyone’s soul is the desire to survive.
I didn’t want to let life and others take advantage of my lifestyle anymore. I wanted to create the life, to change the narrative, and make fierce decisions on my own. Once I grasped onto the sliver of vision I had of changing my life, I started implementing steps to achieve things for my life. Some were personal, and others were professional. These are the five actions I worked on while/when I have to show myself self-love. It’s an everyday commitment to do these things and I am still very intentional about how I do this.
Believe, Set Goals, Intentional Action, Purpose Driven, Self-Love
Believing in yourself is such a powerful skill you can use in becoming the woman you always dreamed you to be. The vision you have for your life is truly yours. As I grew, I learned that people would try to place limiting beliefs on my life. People will place boundaries around your talents, and try to stop you from trying, leaping for fair, or even failing. Sometimes your gifts and talents scare people because they see what it could become. There would be days when I would feel shut down, unheard, or unfulfilled. Those were the days I would go to my room and journal about the way I wish I could have. When I did that, I would get angry about why I did not do something I really wanted to. That ultimately turned into regret.
The maddening thing was that I knew I was capable, and could not handle people’s disbelief. So, I shifted my mindset. I started acting without shame, talking with no fear, and dreaming big. I had faith in myself, and I encourage you to believe in yourself, your skills, and your passions. When you believe it makes you braver to face any adversity that comes your way.
Creating a goal was one of the most important things I did in my life to get me out of a rut. It gave me hope. Hope is a powerful emotion. I came out of a fog, or depression you could say. I wanted more out of life. I wanted to feel joy again. I needed something to focus my energy on, other than feeling sorry for myself all the time. The goal I set was going back to college and graduating. Little did I know that that would set a ripple effect of opportunity, new goals, and actions in my life. I am glad I did what I set out to do because it showed me how much bigger my goals could be. My goals were short and long term, but what made me feel empowered was that they were mine. They were unique to my skills, my passion, and my vision. Setting goals creates momentum towards the desires of your heart. When you’re in a fog, once that momentum starts you want to keep it going so that you can obtain new opportunities.
In order to see my goals come into fruition, I had to have intentional action behind my written and spoken goals. This is something I am continuously practicing. I recognize that actions speak louder than words, and when you physically DO something, you feel more pride in your accomplishments. Your excuses are someone else’s reason to do something, and that phrase drives me nuts. When those negative, limiting beliefs cycle into my mind, I remember that phrase. I want to seize every opportunity I have to fulfill my desires. To create the life I truly desire I have to do the hard things. I constantly am pushing myself out of my comfort zone, not only to get more comfortable and efficient but also to learn and grow personally. Every woman that considers herself fierce knows that we all face a moment in our journeys when we have to prove to ourselves that we can.
To prove to ourselves is a valuable statement because I didn’t say “prove to someone else.” My goals became purpose-driven, once I realized that my vision impacted more than just myself. I wasn’t proving to anyone, but I was using my skills and talents to help others. My vision was broad enough to impact a larger sector of people. So when you get down about your progress, or failed attempts you must remember your WHY. Because “why not” it be you that is successful in life? “Why not” try? I truly believe that when you want something bad enough you will have the drive in life that pushes you past the hard days and the confusing emotions.
By practicing these actions, you are truly exuding self-love. Putting your own well-being and happiness above anything and everyone else. It’s not selfish to propel your life in the right direction. With hope, goal setting, and intentional action you can have a life you love. When I dropped out of college because I was sexually assaulted I wouldn’t have made it out without hope and a dream. To better myself, I had to have faith in God and myself to move forward. It’s not easy getting over difficult life events, or even small obstacles that come our way. It’s not easy. But you are made and you are capable of hard things!
Create the life you want. Become the author of your life. Paint on an ever-ending canvas. Embrace your strengths and your weaknesses to produce a fierce life. I know that life can be hard, but stay encouraged and actually think about what you want your life to look like. You have the choice so be empowered.
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